23 Things I Learned in 2023
Not just a reflection, but a celebration.
Recently
As I’m writing this, I’m sitting in Charamel Gozotegia, a cute café in Bilbao with an array of mouth-watering pastries lining the front of the shop. My indecisive Libra-moon brain goes through a myriad of pros and cons lists within seconds, hoping the person in front of me in line takes longer so I have more time to reach a decision. I order a cinnamon roll and an americano, which I later change to a cappuccino, realizing how satisfying it would be to dip my dessert in a foamy cacao-sprinkled espresso with milk.
This last week I’ve been coughing up my lungs, sick and spending time with my partner wandering through the Basque Country. We spent a few days in the coastal city of San Sebastián, known for its culinary expertise and picturesque views. The sea and green hills framing the city was a nice change from the urban big-city-vibe of Bilbao. We watched people surf, rode a Ferris wheel, went to the aquarium, walked through the beautiful Monte Urgull, and ate delicious food at charming restaurants and cafés. Several days straight of sun is a rare occurrence in northern Spain winters; the Vitamin D was like a Christmas gift from Mother Earth.
Now we’re back in Bilbao, feeling regrouped, taking advantage of our time together, devouring a variety of arepas y cachapas together, and identifying our (new year) goals.
A year is a long time, and creating a 365-day-long system to meet our goals feels a bit out of reach and idealistic. It’s hard to imagine what six months from now will look like, let alone one year. I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, but I do think there’s something that changes on January 1st — the air gets sharper, more refreshing and impactful. The start of a new year snaps us into reality.
One productivity system that’s caught my attention this year, thanks to hearing about my friend’s success from it, is the 12-week-year. Meeting goals in 12 weeks is a lot more realistic than meeting them in 52. With a due date approximately three months out, there’s enough time and urgency to actually make something happen, and visualize the end result. Although I have yet to try it, it sounds like a way more effective way of executing than the general New Year’s resolutions (especially when carrying the baggage of limiting beliefs!).
If you’ve used the 12-week year system, what was your experience like? Please share! Your insight may help others reach their goals too!
Not only is the new year a time where everyone gains a rush of motivation to change their lives, but more importantly it’s a time to reflect on the last span of 12 months, the accomplishments we’ve made, and what goals we met this year that we may have set the year prior.
Coming up with 23 lessons learned last year required a lot of thought and reflection. I approached the task as awareness talking to my muggle self, initiating dialogue through introspection (hence the second person POV).
23 things I learned in 2023
The partner that meets your standards DOES exist.
Never lower your standards for anybody. Know your worth. Know what you accept and don’t accept (in all relationships, not only romantic!)
Know the difference between your ego and your standards for a healthy and nutritive relationship.
You’ve adopted and begun growing plants! Congrats on becoming a first-time plant mom! :)
The quality of time you spend with loved ones values more than the quantity. How do you know when it’s quality time? You’re present for them not only physically, but mentally and emotionally.
You nailed an Ayesha and Jade Split on the pole! And a bunch of other new pole dance tricks!
Different pole studios can have substantially different methods of teaching. Not all teaching strategies suit you.
Things you like and don’t like about teaching styles and pole studios.
Paper and pen (and pole dance) are your best friends. They’re always there for you when you’re down. (Or up!)
Have courage to take on the partnership you’ve always dreamed of having. Being in a long-distance relationship is hard but it’s doable (another quality > quantity situation).
How to love.
a. Overlook your ego.
b. You and your partner are a team.
Don’t apologize for your tears.
Daily movement through yoga and stretching always makes you feel good and rejuvenated.
Relax and enjoy your free time without feeling guilty about levels of “productivity.”
A full day with nothing planned stresses you out and makes it hard to stay present. Your mind envisions various combinations of plans working themselves out and in the end you spend more time thinking than doing. It’s time to figure out the root cause instead of treating it with band-aid solutions.
Texting is not your strong suit. You’re a texter who, in conversations that are deeper than surface level, always waits for the “right” moment to respond, when you feel like you can respond your best. That tends to take a few days (or a few weeks). You don’t like this habit; it feels avoidant and inconsiderate to the people you’re doing it to. They’re usually people you appreciate or else you wouldn’t be having the conversation in the first place. The conversations you genuinely enjoy and usually would rather have in person, but of course, that’s not always possible (and that’s probably why it started over text anyway!)
Save the best piece of every meal for the last bite (thanks Jolene!)
Cutting vegetables and preparing yourself food is a very meditative experience (while washing the cutting board bigger than your sink is not!).
The basics of sailing a boat (in Spanish!)
How to turn a capsized two-person sailboat right-side up. What an experience. You’ll dedicate an article to it one day.
Colloquial words in Venezuelan and Argentinian Spanish (thanks to your roommates and partner.) You’ve actually been able to identify the accents and colloquialisms on the streets of Málaga, too!
Boludo (n., Argentinian) - stupid person, nickname, dude (not offensive)
Vaina (n., Venezuelan) - used to refer to an object, situation, or place
Rumba (n., Venezuelan) - party
Cambur (n., Venezuelan) - banana
Suki (sound, Argentinian) - said when something happens quickly, suddenly, out of nowhere
Y mucho, mucho más! ;P
Politics, injustice, and geopolitics fires you up but also shuts you down. You struggle to find a balance that gets you out of “ignorance is bliss” while also staying level-headed.
Crow pose — you held it for a whole five seconds!!!
You navigated new public transportation systems by yourself in Milan, Barcelona, Belgrade and Málaga. (Shoutout Google Maps and Moovit.)
Take care of your hormonal health — understand the different phases of your menstrual cycle and how they influence your body and mind. Create self-compassion toward the body by understanding the body.
Traveling to places where you know people is always a lot more fun and unique of an experience.
You really like cheesecake. I think you ate more cheesecake last year than in the previous 22 years of your life combined.
I believe we are eternal students to life that can’t resist the process of learning. Lessons may go unrecognized, but they remain in our subconscious mind. If we explore them, we get to celebrate how far we’ve come and imagine how far we can go! What an incredible and inspiring feeling!
Reader, what did you learn about yourself or the world this year? What are some lessons or accomplishments from 2023 that you’re celebrating? If you think there’s none, think harder. ;)
Brainstorming Help:
What challenges did you face last year? How did you handle them?
Was there anything unexpected that happened to you? How did you deal with it?
What was exciting about 2023?
What new things did you try? Sports? Recipes? Dating apps? Rituals?
How did you take care of yourself?
When did you feel upset with yourself or others and why?
When did you feel proud of yourself or others and why?
Hope everyone is having an introspective and hopeful start to 2024!
With peace, love, and compassion,
Tea
Frizzy and I popcorn read this on my couch :) happy new year to you! I also try to steer clear of hard and fast resolutions bc you know they would stress me out more than propel me forward. But I certainly feel very refreshed by the change in the air of Jan. 1.
Bravo, Tea!! I loved the photos of you and Jacquie :) Are those the plaid pants you bought in Cork? And thanks for the new Spanish vocab :D